The Reality of What You're Really Saying

10192018160237000.jpg

Gooder is a real word in my family. It started years back on 4th of July. My dad was trying to get my uninterested 9 year old cousin to be excited about the fireworks. “Oh look there! That one’s a gooder.” I realize you are probably picturing us in overalls with missing teeth. Nope, that’s just how we roll. We make up words and say them so often we believe them.

Isn’t that how most things are? We tell ourselves things true or not so often that it becomes natural. I used to say all the time.. I just have anxiety. I did this for years. And it’s true I did have anxiety with certain issues but it wasn’t until my friend sat me down and gave me the I love you so I’m going to tell you this talk that I realized what I was doing. She said, “I don’t think you have anxiety. I believe you’re a person who believes you have anxiety and so you stay anxious.” Of course, I wanted to get defensive and retaliate that she didn’t have a clue what it was like to feel like you couldn’t breathe and that you were going to lose it. But she was right. Every part of my pride hates saying that. I had a few anxiety and panic attacks as a teenager and I started to identify myself as someone who deals with anxiety and panic. I told myself and others that I was just someone who dealt with that. I believe in therapy and I wish I would have gone to learn about triggers and how to talk myself down when I felt a panic attack creeping in.

But here’s what I believe needed to happen before I could move forward in any area of my life. I needed to decide who I was, and who’s I was. I needed to quit telling myself and others that I was someone who dealt with depression, and eating disorders and anxiety. I needed to tell myself the truth I knew was possible for myself. The truth I knew was made for me. The truth is that I am a confident, strong, beautifully made, courageous woman who is the daughter of the most high king. Rachel Hollis talks about dealing with anxiety and how you have to be on offense everyday. I totally agree with that. I am choosing to be on offense everyday by telling myself the truth, by having gratitude and by seeing the future that God has planned for my life ahead of me.

Your reality is what you choose it to be. I can not control the fact that my house flooded or that my father-in-law lost his life to cancer. I can not control that my parents got divorced recently or that my washing machine broke. Life happens. Over and over again it will continue to happen and only you can choose how you come out on the other side. Are you a victim to your situation or are you a warrior who knows your worth?